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Post by patriot2415 on Oct 27, 2006 10:51:41 GMT -5
All, this board, the plaintalkonline and the community in general is DEAD. We need to start talking about how we want our district to run, how we want our money to be spent and what we want for our kids.
Lets not wait until March/April when it's too late. Everyone needs to get involved. There are only 73 people listed as members on this site. about 10 or 11 actually post. PLEASE, share your thoughts, concerns,ideas with everyone. Tell your neighbors about the sites and get them involved.
Everyone is busy with their own lives, so this is the best way to keep in touch.
LET'S BE HEARD..no issue is too small !!!!
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Post by workingmom on Oct 27, 2006 14:30:12 GMT -5
To be honest, my focus and concern for the community at this time is the teen drinking. I have recently become aware of "open house" parties at people's homes and teens hanging out in the parks and schools drinking.
I know a petition was circulating to ask the police to patrol the schools and parks more frequently due to the increased teen presence.
I was also at the School Board meeting a couple of weeks ago where the security at Packard was addressed and the frustration was felt by all that it is such a hang out and is not under control.
This is an issue that has to be addressed by parents and the schools and community. I am beginning to think it is a silent problem that people accept as a rite of passage into adulthood and as something that we can't do much about....
And I am speaking of both the "hard core" kids as well as the honor students who are experimenting.....
I would love ideas on how to address this in our community....
Thanks.
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Post by Go Plainedge! on Oct 27, 2006 15:08:57 GMT -5
990!
That's the number of views on the Eastplain expansion thread.
57. That's the number of replies the Eastplain expansion thread had.
I can't understand why there are so many people viewing the threads and so few contributing. I guess it coincides with the sad number of people that attend BOE meetings from July through March.
I agree with the BOE on one of their perpetual complaints...not enough people show up to the meetings and then the "no-shows" bitch and moan when something is done that they don't like.
After reading Workingmom's post, it confirmed my beliefs that this community needs.....I guess for lack of a better term.....The Plainedge Civic Association.
This watchdog (non-profit) association of community residents would represent the needs of the people of this community in all areas....school, parks, community events, retail, etc.
Plainedge is not a town. We are only defined by a library and school district. There needs to be an organization that looks out (in a non-partisan, non-sectarian and non-political manner) for the best interests of our neighbors, schools, retail stores, parks, streets and overall well-being.
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Post by Say What Again on Oct 27, 2006 15:32:03 GMT -5
I hate to come off as the hard mouth regarding the above, but lets call a spade a spade.....if such a thing is really that big of an issue, then be a better parent.
Sorry if that comes off as harsh, but its the truth. Bear in mind this is not directed at anyone individually but more as a blanket case and yes it may covers those that it doesnt apply to as well, but then they already know that they dont have anything to worry about.
Show of hands...how many of you growing up were deathly afraid of their parents and the almighty wrath they would reign down upon you when they discovered you had done something wrong? hoe many times were you afraid that they would literally beat you to within an inch of your life, then then came back for another half inch?
Another show of hands....how many of your children today now have that same fear of you? in fact, how many of YOU are afraid of your children?
We were instilled with respect for our parental figures at the very least...and the very worst, were in awe of them and in fear for our lives if they found out that we did anything outside the behavior they expected of us. You went out drinking? you took any drugs? you stole? you damaged property? you were afraid to go home and sat in fear as you "wait till your father gets home!"
Today, children shirk and shrug off authority whether parental or from police. Yes we understand that we experimented when we were young, and yes we sometimes got away with it, but we also understood there was hell to pay when we were discovered, and it was metted out furiously when we were - and it was a deterrent for the most part
This is not to say that I beat my child - I have never raised a hand to my child in anger - I didnt have to, becasue I raised her the same way my parents raised me - to KNOW right from wrong and what she should and shouldnt be doing. She lives in fear of us and in fear of dissapointing us - will she experiment? Yes most likley - hopefully not, but it is inevitable and certainly not unexpected - I can only hope that our parentling in developing her character will kick in at the moment of truth and she will know that she doesnt have to do anyting just to fit in - that she should always try to be a leader and not a follower.
Sooner or later they all experiment and there is nothing we can do about it than to make sure they understand what is wrong for them and what is destructive for them and to understand that they have NO PEER above them that can instruct them as to what they have to do to fit in, that their mother and their father are the ONLY AUTHORITY FIGURE THEY MUST OBEY AND HOLD UP TO. To lead and not to follow and that peer pressure also has a pressure valve that they are in full control of turning it and stopping it down.
Build their stature and their confidence and their sense of right and wrong and make them understand that THERE WILL BE SWIFT AND DIRE CONSEQUENCES THAT WILL BE EFFECTED if they waiver. That is the key...they MUST know that thier actions have consequences, not just somethign that maybe mommy and daddy will fix for them when they screw up and make them sit a week without their iPod.
Parent your children - Yes they are going to hate you but its your job, not their friends or the police, and they will get over it and eventually one day, appreeciate you for it when its their turn. They're still going to hang out with thier friends, nad their freinds are going to do stupid sheet, but at least YOU will know that YOUR child will more likely be the voice of reason rather than part of the problem.
Again, not to say that you or anyone else specifically dont do this, but its plainly easy to see sometimes how parents today have lost control and then have the nerve to look shocked and be surprised for the neighbors and anyone else within sight and earshot when the police DO come knocking on their door.
"What?!? Not my child!" ...... Yes, your child.
Sorry if that was harsh, but then again so were teh beatings I got when I did something stupid.....but I never repeated it....or attempted anything remotely as stupid as it ever again.
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Post by techie on Oct 27, 2006 18:36:49 GMT -5
Say What Again,
VERY WELL Said!!
Your post gets to the root of what is really wrong.
Family values have been forgotten, or at least pushed to the side, for too long.
We all "hung out" when we were young, but, we also knew the penalty. I am VERY proud of my two sons and how they are turning out. STRONG Family Ties. My older boy has given us two grandchildren and his wife and he are doing very well with them. My younger son, (round #2) is equally making me proud as he grows. Our values are Family, Home, School, and Church. I am not a cross waving fanatic, but we feel that learning lessons from Church give our children a broader knowledge base to ask questions from and in turn,learn from talking with others. (It also makes meal times more interesting.) How many of those parents whose children are at the schools and parks actually talk to their kids on a regular basis? We all have busy lives and tough jobs but we must remember the #1 reason that we choose that life,... For OUR KIDS!
Thanks again for your post.
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Post by Go Plainedge! on Oct 28, 2006 6:09:50 GMT -5
Say What: I blame a lot on parents these days too. You're right in stating that many kids have no respect for authority and that parents don't put any fear into their kids. These are the same parents that will complain about the music kids listen to and the TV shows they watch...but do nothing to control what the kids listen to or watch. However, growing up, I had the fear of catching a beating from my father. But, that didn't stop me from going drinking with my friends in school yards, church parking lots, cemetaries and so on. Even though I had that fear, I also knew I was smarter than my parents ( : and I wouldn't get caught...Ha! I don't want to get too off topic. The point of this particular thread is the fact that very few people get invbolved early on. They only complain afterwards. More peolpe need to get involved with this community to guide the BOE and our neighbors in the direction that is in the best interest of bettering the wellbeing of the community.
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Post by workingmom on Oct 28, 2006 8:43:18 GMT -5
I understand and agree with what you have been saying. I do think parents are a vital part of the equation and I was not trying to say otherwise.
The relationship of this topic (teen drinking) to the BOE is that some of the drinking and hanging out is being done on school grounds. And these are the kids in our schools and drinking impacts their school performance. I don't know exactly who is doing what when, and I don't have all the specifics, but the schools should be kept "drug free" and that is a community responsibility. The vandalism, etc at Schwarting, Packard, etc. also needs to be addressed as well as liquor found on school grounds (East Plain).
I personally don't think we should be complaining about a lack of community involvement in Plainedge. We have accomplished a lot over the past year or so, more than most communities. The fact that people are focusing on their lives means that things are moving along at a satisfactory level. We have a new BOE, who I would argue are trying to do what the community asked of them. They are reviewing the budget at every meeting, are available to us if we need them. I don't know if they will have a community only meeting or not. But change and improvements come in steps and stages, not all at once.
In terms of how to spend our money on our kids, I guess I would like to see a community center of some sort for our kids to go and hang out and have social interactions with some supervision as opposed to them trying to find places on their own. Bethpage has a community center. We have Packard (or Picken) that is sitting there available for this type of thing - I know money is tight. And I dont understand all the ramifications of the capital budget money from the state, or if we would have to do something on our own like we did for the John H West playground, but I guess I would like to know if there is any interest in doing anything to give our kids a place to go evenings and weekends so they can socialize in a safe environment......even if it is a goal we move towards over time.....
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Post by yruohk on Oct 29, 2006 11:39:34 GMT -5
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. ” -Benjamin Franklin All, this board, the plaintalkonline and the community in general is DEAD. Dead or in hibernation? Or maybe some are working 2+ jobs? Not all households in Plainedge have 2 contributing salaries, therefore, the necessity for the single head of family to pull all the weight. And I do believe there are enough here that fit that category. Besides, no matter how many people are contributing, be it 1, 2 or more, it goes without say that we work too hard, too long for what? Paying taxes that support those whose salaries afford them the time to be with their families. Got to pay those taxes, administrative salaries and do it all over again to a greater degree each year. I'm taking one precious moment to make a post and remind all that we are here, reading, thinking and working then off to work and very little play. True everyone needs to be involved but how? Can all attend meetings? Not really. But then again those meetings are designed to keep the majority away. While the cat's away, the mice will play. Why haven't we made changes to allow for more to be involved? As the quote above goes: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. ”I am VP of the International Microscopy Assoc. which holds meetings 2X's per month for an international membership. Not only do I and the other officers officiate the meetings but we also tend to much work to make the organization a viable one while considering the best interests of the membership. How do we hold meetings of an international magnitude, hold elections and actually make progress? We TELECONFERENCE. Everything is run in an orderly fashion and if the community of members have input, all is dealt with. I proposed years ago to bring the meetings into the home via public access TV and/or INTERNET. If the community demands this, then it's wishes will have to be respected and accomplished. Our organizations teleconference is FREE just as is this BULLETIN BOARD. Of course, if more features are needed, there could be some costs incurred but no where near the costs spent to run meetings at the school where everyone cannot be or is not allowed if the numbers are too many. The drinking, drugging, etc. of the children is the responsibility of the parents. The manner in which children behave is also their responsibility. So, why is it that we have a generation of out-of-control youth? Some parents are too permissive and do permit their teens alcohol parties, as I've witnessed many years ago. Not only do they permit these but also other activities not age appropriate. Now, before anyone screams at me, I did say SOME. As for other parents, who try to set boundaries, they find their hands tied by the liberal attitudes of society which has given permission to children to stand up, speak up and resist their parents. More parents than not fear, not their children, but those who support and encourage children to rise up against their parents. Well, we are reaping what's been sown. Silence is acceptance. How many people/parents will go to the aid of another parent? Not many. It's the, "don't get involved" mentality. How many teens get killed while driving at lunch time or just after leaving school? This is a big news item now. Who let that happen? The ADULTS!!! How many teen pregnancies are there today? More than ever even though much has been spent (TAXES) on sex education and distribution of condoms in schools? The ADULTS chose these as a much needed item in programs. Drugs & alcohol are more prevalent than ever, yet, we spend more than ever (TAXES) to EDUCATE THE CHILDREN TO NOT DO DRUGS. Again, the ADULTS are the responsible ones for allowing all this to happen. If the majority of people are kept at bay by having to work more and more to pay those darn taxes, then who's running the ship? The ones running the ship have been the ones deciding the programs and the ways in which the taxes are spent. Some have even lined their own pockets as we have seen all over Long Island. To get more involved may take a catastrophe. Other school districts have been faced with such and then they were forced to come out and shout. But before that happens, why not CHOOSE a vehicle that will allow more involvement? Brainstorm a way to do things differently so that we might get different results, the results that produce harmony and well being for all concerned. Remember, silence is acceptance. It's nice to agree but it's better to make changes so that all are able to participate. And who is at risk? Your children, grandchildren and nieces and nephews.
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Post by patriot2415 on Oct 30, 2006 8:11:16 GMT -5
Workingmom/Yruohk
A few comments:
Wokingmom, I totally agree with you. From what I understand from my children the drinking issue in Plainedge is VERY serious. 8th and 9th graders drinking, drinking parties at homes. Drinking on school grounds. What do we do? 1. Hold parents accountable if there is underage drinking going on in their homes. If your child is there and they tell you drinking went on, confront the parents. Even file a police report. I know that sounds a bit over the edge, but if they are allowing it, and putting your child at risk, then they deserve it.
2. make it very clear to our kids that ONE incident will not be tolerated. Case closed. No negotiations!
3. Just say no....! If you have heard of kids drinking or drinking parties, forbid your children from associating with that child/family. make THEM the community outcasts!!!
It's a tough issue, and tough measures need to be put in place.
Yruohk: I agree with you, everyone is busy working additional hours/jobs, both parents working to live on LI.
But, "True everyone needs to be involved but how? Can all attend meetings? Not really. But then again those meetings are designed to keep the majority away. While the cat's away, the mice will play. Why haven't we made changes to allow for more to be involved? As the quote above goes: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. " This is what they hope. NON involvement from the community. They want the frustration to set in and keep us away. NOW is the time for challenges, not in March and April when it's too late and we are told...if it was such a concern, where have you been at the meetings!!!!
We need to be heard on every topic WE deem important. I want US to succeed so much, but we are our own worst enemies because we become complacent. WE need to be heard !!!
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Post by mythreekids on Oct 30, 2006 23:23:52 GMT -5
I agree that something has to be done with the drinking on the school grounds and at the house parties and I agree that there has to be more parental involvement all around. What are they thinking?? Unless the kids are sneaking it in, I don't know of any parent who is of sound mind who would dare allow or host a "drinking" party.!!! Here is a thought- I know last year Dan Yuengling, a police officer from Plainedge was asked by the PTA's to come to the schools to discuss issues relating to internet safety, stranger safety etc. He also was at the HS PTA meeting discussing with parents what drugs are out there today. Maybe he should be asked by the PTA to come back to our school again to do a lesson on drugs, drinking and property damage ( pranks) ? Just a thought......
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Post by patriot2415 on Oct 31, 2006 8:43:22 GMT -5
mythreekids
excellent idea. Should probably be 6th grade and up. Can we get the PTA's to run with this?
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Post by patriot2415 on Nov 2, 2006 10:04:08 GMT -5
Can anyone take this up with the PTA's???
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bette
New Member
Posts: 29
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Post by bette on Nov 2, 2006 11:19:45 GMT -5
I think this is all a great idea. However, if you think the attendance is bad the Board Meetings the PTA meetings are just as poorly attended especially at the MS and HS level.
The parents of these kids are certainly not in attendance.
Also, the district has in the past run programs for parents regarding these topics and the attendance was sad.
So let's forget the parents and get directly to the kids.
I would like to see more speakers come into the schools and speak to the kids themselves. There is an Arts N Ed program run through the PTA's that pays for cultural assemblies. The problem is that we need to build up the funds in the PTA's at the HS and MS levels to afford such programs. There are many speakers out there with wonderful programs to empower kids with knowledge and that will show them the results of poor choices and how to protect themselves from being manipulated into making these choices.
At the grammar school level there are many cultural programs brought in for music, science, math and even bullying. At the MS and HS level drinking, drugs, vandalism ans sex are the cultural problems they are dealing with and I think this could be a good way to go. We can take it even further and bring in money management and motivational goal setting. It just needs the funding and boy is Plainedge good at raising money for things they believe in.
The parents actually have to join the PTA (not necessarily attend the meetings) at the MS and HS level and support the efforts to bring in programs such as these for the kids. The monies for membership could go a long way for these kids.
It's about getting to the kids and let's face it they don't always want to listen to their parents. If it comes in as an assembly they are basically forced to listen and if it changes the mind of one student and saves a life of one person then whatever it costs is more than worth it.
IMHO it could help.
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Post by patriot2415 on Nov 2, 2006 17:18:35 GMT -5
Bette, I certainly agree with you. This needs to be accomplished on school time so the children are forced to attend.
How do we get this going?
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bette
New Member
Posts: 29
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Post by bette on Nov 2, 2006 23:30:56 GMT -5
Patriot:
I will be in touch with you.
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